'Imagine an email finding you well': 35 Banter-worthy Tweets for industrious employees scrolling on company time

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Nov 2, 2023 1:00 PM EDT

There's one work trope that is true in any industry: Hating on your workplace a little bit is fun. We all go to work so that we can get a paycheck every month, so obviously there are some things that are less than ideal that we have to endure. It's the balance of employment. You suffer in tiny ways– like conversing with your tenured employees who don't know how to use the Microsoft Suite– and you get rewarded with money! It's simple really. Although many of us would prefer to have no qualms with our jobs, it certainly is fun to commiserate with your coworkers every now and again about some universal beef. 

Gossiping with a coworker or pointing out funny similarities within your positions is one of the few joys of employment. And fortunately, even if you work from home, have no work-besties, or work somewhere you can't speak to anybody, there are folks on the Internet that you can share banter with! So if you're here to enjoy some witty wisecracks with a couple of coworkers over happy hour, you've come to the right place. Scoll onward to enjoy some banter-worthy Tweets that you can definitely bring back to the workplace. 

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  • 01
    Jaw - Captain Nasdaq (Viral) @CaptainNasdaq Okaaaayyyyyy let me juuuuuuuust shaaaaaaaaare my screeeeeeen... okaycanyouseeit?
    via u/CaptainNasdaq
  • 02
    Nose - Manic Pixie Dream Taco @QueenofTacos ALT Oh my god I needed this laugh. This is all a rejected candidate emailed me in response to a form rejection email. I'm trying to decide if I respond earnestly or not. messaye 20 . y tho 10:36 AM Oct 24, 2023 413.4K Views H : DA
    via u/QueenofTacos
  • 03
    Glasses - Katherine @mycorporatebestie Corporate math: record profits! + billions in revenue! raises = 0%
    via u/mycorporatebestie
  • 04
    Font - Pop I'm so fake at work. I be using words like "That's awesome!" and "You bet!" Relatable Insider @relatableinsder
    via u/relatableinsider
  • 05
    Font - Ginny Hogan_ @ginnyhogan_ If you work from home, you might go multiple days without speaking to another human being, but there are downsides too
    via u/ginnyhogan
  • 06
    Computer - Chris @chrispaget1 Every meeting when you suffer from imposter syndrome
    via u/chrispaget1
  • 07
    Font - Robert Raymond @robpertray can you imagine being a human during the paleolithic age just eating salmon and berries and storytelling around campfires and star gazing... no jobs no traffic no ads no poverty no capitalism- caused traumas just pure vibes
    via u/robpertray
  • 08
    Font - Steve @stevethesage being new at a job is so embarrassing for no reason Manda @Mandaa1010 Someone said it feels like you're a new character on season 5 of a show
    via u/stevethesage
  • 09
    Font - Dan Kaufman @D_Kauf11 It's called gross pay because it's disgusting to see what you could've made
    via u/D_Kauf11
  • 10
    Font - ADAM @adamkalavsky *alarm goes off* *gets up* *eats* *sits in traffic* *gets to work* *sits down* [5 min later] *looks at clock* Cool, only 40 more years to go
    via u/adamkalavsky
  • 11
    Font - emily june @emilyjune_ I feel like instead of writing an entire follow up email it should be acceptable to just be like hello????????
    via u/emilyjune_
  • 12
    Jaw - Missy Baker @TheMissyBaker The only cure for the Sunday Scaries is to quit your job and have the Everyday Scaries.
    via u/TheMissyBaker
  • 13
    Font - andy van slyke @im_all_id Congratulations on working 40 hours! You are now free to dissociate for 2 days
    via u/im_all_id
  • 14
    Gesture - Marc @MarcSnetiker Imagine an e-mail finding you well
    via u/MarcSnetiker
  • 15
    Rectangle - Aware Wolf @thDRAGnrebOrN I am putting in my too weak notice.
    via u/thDRAGnrebOrN
  • 16
    Rectangle - Scott Dodds @itsBOMBARDIER Follow me at 14: can't wait to travel the whole world once i'm earning my own money me now: mustn't forget that tupperware at work, it's my only one
    via u/itsBOMBARDER
  • 17
    Font - Blondie @MissisAngele Jobs need to understand that the ONLY way to make me feel appreciated is to pay me what I'm worth. That's it. No amount of "lunch on me", t shirts, or "team building" is going to cut it
    via u/MissisAngele
  • 18
    Font - Nate Silver @Nate Silver 538 There really needs to be a semi exclamation point for when a period conveys too little enthusiasm in a work-related email but using the full exclamation point makes you seem like a psychopath.
    via u/NateSilver538
  • 19
    Font - @Raremaester Normalize not telling your boss what your day off is for.
    via u/Raremaester
  • 20
    Font - Sari Botton (rhymes with Larry Cotton) @saribotton ... Sometimes, after I've completed a task that wasn't on my to-do list, I add it, then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.
    via u/saribotton
  • 21
    Font - ruby @roobeekeane "I've CC'd in my boss" - professional - corporate - mildly threatening "You wanna say that in front of Greg?" - confident - threat level 9000 - who is Greg and what is he capable of
    via roobeekeane
  • 22
    Font - madrigal @whatmaddness bosses are such comedians. "I can't offer you more money but I would be happy to offer you more responsibility" like lol that's incredible. Best joke of the day. 10/10.
    via u/whatmaddness
  • 23
    Font - KWE Kweenkwerke @kweenkwerke I've been thinking about this three day weekend since July 5th
    via u/Kweenkwerke
  • 24
    Organism - Adam Hess @adamhess1 Took 28 years to realise that no matter what the meeting is about, if you randomly chime in with 'it's just about finding that balance' people will always agree.
    via u/adamhess1
  • 25
    Font - slate @PleaseBeGneiss interviewer: why do you want this job? me: this is the last thing i want but i will not make it in the wild
    via u/PleaseBeGneiss
  • 26
    Font - Close to Classy @closetoclassy [automatic email reply] Hi! I'm out of the office enjoying my life. I hope this place burns to the ground in my absence. If I don't stumble into a giant pile of money, I will return on (date) to deal with whatever nonsensical bull you are emailing about.
    via u/closetoclassy
  • 27
    Font - KWERKE Crying O ORPORATE Kweenkwerke @kweenkwerke
    via u/kweenkerke
  • 28
    Goggles - THE-WIZRD. @doubletexts During my interview today i poured some water into a cup and it overflowed a little bit "Nervous?" asked the interviewer I simply replied, "No I just always give 110%"
    via u/doubletexts
  • 29
    Font - Rutuja @rutujax Do you ever send a work email and re-read it and congratulate yourself on the masterpiece it was?
    via u/rutujax
  • 30
    Font - first-mate prance @bocxtop getting a passive aggressive email at work is so funny, no way u want to fight me over an excel file
    via u/bocxtop
  • 31
    Font - Erica @eerrriiicaa Iced coffee just tastes better when you're late for work
    via u/eerriicaa
  • 32
    Font - Sophia Benoit @1followernodad ... Me, approving of something in a work email: "Ok perfect!" Me, disapproving of something in a work email: "Ok, sounds good!"
    via u/1followernodad
  • 33
    Jaw - i can be your long lost pal @PallaviGunalan how tf did i take all those classes when i was in school?? now if i have one meeting and get groceries the same day i fall apart
    via u/PallaviGanalan
  • 34
    Font - Cat McGee | catmcgee.eth | @CatMcGeeCode Got a CV today and the guy literally listed one of his skills as 'googling' We're interviewing him
    via u/CatMcGeeCode
  • 35
    Font - chínå lêvỳ @chinaelevy Barbie was so inspiring. Now I'm going after my dream job 8:28 Search ||| a beach United States Jobs Date posted . LTE Experience le
    via u/chinalevey

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